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    May 14

    混沌不堪

    用了很多很多的时间尝试把生活整理出一个头绪,结果呢,仿佛是愈加混乱了。
    不上课,不想做任何东西。用英语和发呆打发掉所有的时间,在心里一次一次想着不同选择可能产生的结果,然后在那么多的可能性面前迷失了。
    安静的坐在地板上一个下午,听莫扎特的琴声,听到自己浑身发抖。
    我想,我还是不够义无反顾。因为太害怕、太重视那个结果。
     
    下午回来路上,看到马路对面的旧房子被拆掉,周围是仰面围观的人群。
    每个人都瞪大了眼睛,专注而安静的。
    每个人的脸上,都写着我读不懂的表情。
    这个世界,就连个体对个体本身都不是永久的,更何况其他呢。
    reliance,越来越与我无关。

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    jie shenwrote:
    我们现在的状况实在是很像,越想理出头绪,越茫然不知所措……
    要是能真正洒脱到不顾结果,只在乎这一次选择与拼搏,也许就不会这么煎熬……可是人就是这么现实的动物……
    纠结~
    May 19

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